"Sexual Healing"

Everyone has heard the saying, “sex sells.” I have also heard that if teachers want to grab students’ attention, they could find some way to talk about sex in their lesson. Students will be completely zoned out and the minute they hear the word “sex,” they automatically tune in. I have actually witnessed this first hand. Sex is most commonly seen in television shows, movies, and magazines. Rarely is this a topic in the newspaper, unless it is about molestation, rape, or some other sort of sex-related crime. In the media, sex is portrayed as an act of pleasure and/or love. It is also very casual. In society, some see it as an act that should only be shared by two people in love, while others say it should only occur in marriage. Some do it simply for pleasure. As mentioned earlier, sex is seen as a very casual action; one that people cannot seem to live without and the individuals gain a sort of elevated sense of self once they partake in the action. With that, most people do not have just one sexual partner; it is also less common to see individuals waiting until marriage to have sex. Majority of females want their first time to be special, while majority of males just want to lose their virginity as quickly as possible. Once it is no longer “the first time,” it seems as though individuals become desensitized to the emotions and attachments that come along with sex; in other words, it is more about pleasure.

In one episode of the HBO series, Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw calls up her ex-boyfriend while she is in San Francisco, solely to have sex with him. She tells her friends that she has not had sex in awhile (3 months), and needs to feel the pressure of a man’s body on top of her. Here, we see that sex is more for pleasure than it is about love. Throughout the series, the character Samantha sleeps with a myriad of men with no attachment. She is often compared to a man in the fact that she hooks up with multiple partners whom she is not in love with and does not intend to form a relationship with. Because she views sex like this, she is labeled a slut. Again, we see sex viewed as a casual action, one that is used solely for pleasure. Miranda, another character in the show, gets Chlamydia and has to contact all of the people she has slept with in the past month. She makes a list and the final name she writes is “guy at deli.” Again, sex is seen as pleasure.

According to an article about some theological views on sex, it should be an act of love only committed between husband and wife. Also, if individual have sex prior to marriage, it is considered a mortal sin and God will punish the offendors greatly. Unlike the portrayal of sex in Sex and the City, this article states that the body should be kept holy: “He who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own…Therefore honor God with your body” (4). In other words, this is saying that sexual sin is very different from other sins in the fact that one is directly harming a part of God, the Holy Spirit. The article also goes against the idea of having sex out of lust and only for pleasure. When one looks to God and finds strength from him, he/she should be able to turn away from this temptation: “And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (5). This is saying that if one has premarital sex, they may not be relying on God enough. If they turn to God and are fully committed to him, they will have no problem abstaining from sex before marriage. “For God did not call us to be impure” (7). Overall, this theological article is portraying sex as act tied only to individuals that are married. Sex outside of marriage, and those who have more than one sexual partner, will suffer eternal consequences. It is something that is sacred, which is not seen in Sex and the City, which depicts the act as something much more casual and used for pleasure.

A lot of these quotes in the article were taken directly from the Bible. I was raised Catholic and am fully aware of the beliefs associated with sex. However, I feel that many of their “guidelines” are outdated. I do believe that sex should be between two people in love, but who’s to say what is right and what is wrong? I was watching a television show on MTV called Sex With Mom and Dad, and the 16 year old girl being interview by the counselor informed him that she wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. The counselor informed her that she should be more open to the idea of sex, and that if you love someone, it is okay. He also gave her an age range of when most people lose their virginity, with 16 being the youngest age. I was appalled to see a counselor on national television advising an adolescent that it is okay to have sex when she firmly believes in waiting. It also got me wondering, is it the media that shapes society’s views on sex or does society’s views shape the media? I’m going to end on that note, because I could explore that question through at least ten more posts.